From the Mouth of Babes
"Never trust a dog to watch your food." -Patrick, age 10
"When your dad is mad and asks you, "Do I look stupid?' Don't answer." -Hannah, age 9
"Never tell your Mom her diet's not working." -Michael, age 14
"Stay away from prunes." -Randy, age 9
"Don't pull Dad's finger when he tells you to." -Emily, age 10
"When your Mom is mad at your dad, don't let her brush your hair." -Taylia, age 11
"Never let your three-year old brother in the same room as your school assignment." -Traci, age 14
"A puppy always has bad breath--even after eating a Tic-Tac." - Andrew, age 9
"Never hold a dustbuster and a cat at the same time." - Kyoyo, age 11
"You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk." -Amir, age 9
"Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts." -Kellie, age 11
"If you want a kitten, start out by asking for a horse." -Naomi, age 15
"Felt-tip markers are not good to use as lipstick." -Lauren, age 9
"Don't pick on your sister when she's holding a baseball bat." -Joel, age 10
"When you get a bad grade in school, show it to your Mom when she's on the phone." -Alyesha, age 13
"Never try to baptize a cat." -Eileen, age 8
==================
TEACHER: "Maria, please go to the map and find North America."
MARIA: "Here it is."
TEACHER: "Correct. Now class, who discovered America?"
CLASS: "Maria!"
TEACHER: "John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?"
JOHN: "You told me to do it without using tables."
TEACHER: "Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?'"
GLENN: "K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L"
TEACHER: "I'm sorry, that's wrong"
GLENN: "Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it."
TEACHER: "Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?"
DONALD: "H I J K L M N O"
TEACHER: "What are you talking about?"
DONALD: "Yesterday you said it's H to O."
TEACHER: "Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago."
WINNIE: "Me!"
TEACHER: "Glen, why do you always get so dirty?"
GLEN: "Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are."
TEACHER: "Millie, give me a sentence starting with 'I.'"
MILLIE: "I is... "
TEACHER: "No, Millie..... Always say, 'I am.'"
MILLIE: "All right... I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."
TEACHER: "George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louis, do you know why his father didn't punish him?"
LOUIS: "Because George still had the axe in his hand?"
TEACHER: "Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?"
SIMON: "No sir, I don't have to. My mom's a good cook."
TEACHER: "Clyde, your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his essay?"
CLYDE: "No, sir. It's the same dog."
TEACHER: "Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?"
HAROLD: "A teacher?"
====================
"When your dad is mad and asks you, "Do I look stupid?' Don't answer." -Hannah, age 9
"Never tell your Mom her diet's not working." -Michael, age 14
"Stay away from prunes." -Randy, age 9
"Don't pull Dad's finger when he tells you to." -Emily, age 10
"When your Mom is mad at your dad, don't let her brush your hair." -Taylia, age 11
"Never let your three-year old brother in the same room as your school assignment." -Traci, age 14
"A puppy always has bad breath--even after eating a Tic-Tac." - Andrew, age 9
"Never hold a dustbuster and a cat at the same time." - Kyoyo, age 11
"You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk." -Amir, age 9
"Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts." -Kellie, age 11
"If you want a kitten, start out by asking for a horse." -Naomi, age 15
"Felt-tip markers are not good to use as lipstick." -Lauren, age 9
"Don't pick on your sister when she's holding a baseball bat." -Joel, age 10
"When you get a bad grade in school, show it to your Mom when she's on the phone." -Alyesha, age 13
"Never try to baptize a cat." -Eileen, age 8
==================
TEACHER: "Maria, please go to the map and find North America."
MARIA: "Here it is."
TEACHER: "Correct. Now class, who discovered America?"
CLASS: "Maria!"
TEACHER: "John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?"
JOHN: "You told me to do it without using tables."
TEACHER: "Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?'"
GLENN: "K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L"
TEACHER: "I'm sorry, that's wrong"
GLENN: "Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it."
TEACHER: "Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?"
DONALD: "H I J K L M N O"
TEACHER: "What are you talking about?"
DONALD: "Yesterday you said it's H to O."
TEACHER: "Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago."
WINNIE: "Me!"
TEACHER: "Glen, why do you always get so dirty?"
GLEN: "Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are."
TEACHER: "Millie, give me a sentence starting with 'I.'"
MILLIE: "I is... "
TEACHER: "No, Millie..... Always say, 'I am.'"
MILLIE: "All right... I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."
TEACHER: "George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louis, do you know why his father didn't punish him?"
LOUIS: "Because George still had the axe in his hand?"
TEACHER: "Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?"
SIMON: "No sir, I don't have to. My mom's a good cook."
TEACHER: "Clyde, your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his essay?"
CLYDE: "No, sir. It's the same dog."
TEACHER: "Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?"
HAROLD: "A teacher?"
====================
Comments
Post a Comment